Invisible Touch

Invisible Touch

Chapter 12 ~ The Envelope

Graduation was supposed to be a happy time, but Ernie knew what the future held for him. He hadn't seen it in a dream, but he had seen it coming, like a freight train barreling down the tracks.

Ernie was happy for her. Once those envelopes started arriving, the huge pile of acceptances and the very small handful of rejections, he got a jolt of nervous excitement each time the phone rang. Each time he wondered if this would be that call.

He wasn't sure if he had talked her into it, or whether she had just come to this decision on her own, but she had applied to all of the top schools, all across the country. She had excellent academic credentials, and doing so meant she would likely be accepted to several of them, and she would have no excuse for choosing the local option.

Kim had discussed this with Ernie and told him that if she had her choice, she would pick the east over the west. She would pick the north over the south. This meant that her top regional preference would be New England, and that was where the cream of the crop were located, Ernie knew.

He was hopeful for her, of course -- at least on the outside. But in his journal, he wrote how he really felt.

"Why can't college last forever? I want her to be accepted, I really do. Those top schools would give her career options as far as she might dream. But three years is a long time, and I can't bear the thought of being apart. And what if she chooses one of those great careers far away? I don't even want to think about it. I know it was the right thing to suggest that she 'see the world,' but maybe I should tell her how I really feel while there's still time."

He knew what her ideal pick would be. She had a cousin in New Hampshire and Boston would be so close. Did that mean she would go and visit Becky and her husband instead of coming home for holidays? Ernie wondered. This wasn't fair, he thought. He didn't own her, after all. He wanted to be supportive. That's what friends were for, and he'd be there for her no matter what.

He had bought a few small bottles of champagne. He knew there would be a lot of celebrating to do, and didn't want all of the half empty bottles going to waste. Drinking the whole bottle might be a good idea when that crimson lettered envelope arrived, he thought. No, he told himself. He needed to be a grownup.

The phone rang, and he ran to answer it.

"It's here," Kim told him.

"Which one?" he asked.

"That one," she said.

"Well did you open it?" he asked.

"I'm too nervous," she said. "And besides, I want us to open it together."

"Well then, get your little self over here!" he said with a chuckle.

It felt like an eternity. It shouldn't take her more than 15 minutes, even with traffic. He figured it would feel like an hour. He was so nervous, he started pacing. He picked up a few stray newspapers and made sure the magazines were all in a neat pile. He took out his ice bucket and filled it up, then added one of the champagne bottles, which was already chilling in the refrigerator.

What if she didn't get in? He thought. Well, then, he'd be celebrating still, he told himself, but he didn't really mean it. And there were other schools in New England she hadn't heard from yet, so it wasn't as if was her only option there.

He should have asked what kind of envelope it was, he thought. The big letter size envelopes were always acceptances, and contained packets of information for the prospective student. The small envelopes weren't always rejections, though. Some contained hand written letters to welcome the lucky applicant and announce that more information would be arriving shortly.

He decided to put the champagne in the bedroom, so she wouldn't see it. He didn't want to jinx her, he thought. The words on the letter might rearrange themselves if he was too certain of their contents, he told himself superstitiously.

There was a knock at the door. He must have forgotten to unlock it, he realized. He welcomed her inside and they went right into the living room and sat down. Kim held a regular size business envelope in her hand. It could be anything, Ernie thought. He was a little disappointed now, and this told him that deep down he was hoping she would get in.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?" he prodded.

"What do you think it is?" Kim asked.

"I don't know," he told her. "You've had acceptances in small envelopes, but both of the rejections have been this kind, too."

"What do you want it to be?" she asked.

He didn't even hesitate. "I hope you make it," he said truthfully. "I've got everything crossed, even the things I've only got one of."

He had left a letter opener on the coffee table. She picked it up.

"Is this in case I don't get in?" she asked and pointed the blade towards her heart.

"No, it's in case you do," Ernie teased, and made a stabbing motion with his hands toward his own body.

"Will you open it for me, Ernie? I'm shaking."

"She handed him the letter and the opener. He made a slit across the top. There was a single sheet of paper inside, he felt. He wasn't sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. He was nervous and fumbled with it.

"Dear Miss Wilson," he spoke without even looking at the letter. "We regret to inform you..."

"Stop it," she said. "Open it, Ernie. Open it. I can't stand the suspense!"

He unfolded the letter and started reading. He tried not to let his face give it away, but a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Dear Miss Wilson," he read. "I am writing to congratulate you..."

As soon as he heard that word, she leapt out of her chair.

"Yes!" she said, and waved a fist through the air.

Ernie got up from his chair and retrieved the champagne from the bedroom. He placed the bucket and glasses next to the dagger on the coffee table.

"I am writing to congratulate you," he continued reading, "on your acceptance to the class of 2013. We wanted to inform you as soon as the decision was made, but regret that information packets are still being finalized. You will receive another letter from this office..." and it went on, but Kim was fumbling with the champagne bottle.

"Allow me," he said and took the bottle from her. He unwound the wire and removed it from the bottle. The cork came out with a gentle "pop."

"You should keep this," he said, handing Kim the cork. "as a souvenir."

"And throw out all the others," she told him. "This is the one. I don't even need to wait for the letter from Connecticut."

She sat back down in the chair and started crying.

"Ernie, I'm moving to Boston," she told him. These weren't happy tears, he could see.

He tried to hold back his own tears. "I know," was all he could say.

How he wished he could hold her in his arms. What kind of best friend was he, that couldn't even give hugs?

"It's OK," he told her.

"How can I leave?" she said. "My whole life is here. You're here."

She took a tissue from a box near her chair and blew her nose. Then, all of a sudden, an idea popped into Kim's head.

"Ernie, come with me," she said. "Come to Boston with me."

"Me... oh, Kim... are you sure you... but I..." he was flustered. This thought hadn't even crossed his mind. She was right, of course. What had he been so worried about? And then he felt like a jerk for not thinking about everything.

"What about my grandparents," he said. "Grampa is almost 83 and Gramma just turned 80. I guess I worry about them, and..."

"I completely understand," Kim said. "You're their only family, and you want to be there for them. I totally understand that, Ernie."

She picked up the letter and read it again.

"I don't know, Ernie," she said. "What about..."

"Oh no you don't," he told her. "You're going. Think of the opportunities you'll have. No, this is your ticket to... to... to whatever you can dream. There is no limit to what you can achieve when you get out of there."

He was right, and he knew it. She did, too.

The day of the graduation ceremonies, Ernie made an entry in his journal.

"It's finally here. It feels so empty. Kim will be leaving in a month. It's not fair for me to even wish she were staying here. She deserves this. She has worked so hard and she has earned this. Why did I have to be so insistent that she consider all of the top schools so far away? I could go with her, and she has asked me. What would that be like? Would we live together? Will we end up together? Married? What kind of husband could I be? I can't even touch her. I'm some kind of freak."

"Some kind of freak," he said to himself as he set down his pen.

He was thinking about what she'd said those months before. He could go with her, he thought. His grandparents were paying for the best care any luxury condo could offer, after all. He knew that any medical issue would be taken care of there or at the hospital nearby, the best hospital in Wisconsin.

And she had kept the offer open. She didn't want to seem so needy, she had said, but she hoped that he could go with him. "Could," she had thought. It was about him making a decision, she knew. He wanted to go with her, didn't he? It was just about making sure that his grandparents would be OK without him if anything came up.

And what if something did, he thought. A taxi to the hospital or an airplane, what's the difference? He would return from the ends of the earth to be with them if they needed him. What, then, was holding him back?

What, indeed. Nothing at all, he realized. Nothing but his own fears.

There was an evening reception for the graduates and their families. Dress for this event was traditionally black tie optional and the Maxwells could be very traditional when they wanted to be. Ernie didn't own a tuxedo yet and didn't like the idea of rented clothing.

Ernie and Kim were waiting outside the ballroom entrance when John and Betty's taxi arrived. Ernie took his grandmother's hand and helped her from the car.

"Don't you both look nice," Kim told them as Ernie escorted them to the sidewalk.

"Where's the wedding?" Ernie said when he saw that his grandfather was wearing a tuxedo.

"It's a big day," John said. "Big, big day!"

"Gramma and Grampa, you remember Kim Wilson."

"Oh stop it," his grandfather said. "We've only seen her a dozen times."

"Have I told you she's going to Harvard Law School in the fall?" Ernie said.

"Only a hundred times," his grandmother said. "He is so proud of you, Kim."

She blushed. That was a sweet thing to say, Kim thought.

"Has he told you I've asked him to come with me to Boston?" Kim asked.

"Now this, this is news," John said. "Why haven't you mentioned this, Ernie?"

"Well, because I can't go. I need to be here with..." he began.

"With us, you'd better not be saying, his grandfather scolded. "We're all tucked in every night at the home, and they've got more nurses there than..."

"What about the Appleton Trust?" Ernie said. "I've got to get working on..."

"Sure you do," his grandfather replied. "You've got a lot of work ahead of you, but Helen wouldn't care where you do it. I sure don't care where you do it. Open up an office there in Cambridge. Hire your staff there. Ernie, this job wasn't meant to tie you down. It's portable -- you can take it with you!"

"Any more excuses up your sleeve?" Kim teased.

Her parents were just walking up from the parking lot. Kim ran to give them a hug.

"Mom and Dad, I'd like you to meet Ernie's grandparents. Betty and John Maxwell, this is Susan and Victor Wilson."

Kim and Ernie's parents exchanged greetings while their children exchanged glances.

"And you've met Ernie," she said.

He had no choice but to shake hands with Kim's parents. Good manners were important, after all. And so were good impressions, even second ones. This was sometimes unavoidable, he knew, and he just hoped a vision didn't pop up at some inopportune time.

The three couples went inside to enjoy the celebration. They had all earned it.

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